We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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