we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
