So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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