i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
