This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize