I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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