Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
