Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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