the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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