haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
