Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
