shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
