grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
honey bunches of taint.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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