Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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