Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
