Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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