In America we eat man semen.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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