Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So vagazzling was a success
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
