I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I need moral support for this bender
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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