Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
