it wasn't lemon gatorade
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
