i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
