why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
