id be glad to
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
