why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
