she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
