Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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