Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
