she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
