We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
