Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
