I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
