I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it wasn't lemon gatorade
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize