But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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