Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
