i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize