Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
They are going to name an STD after you.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
