I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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