tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
