Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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