weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
