is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
