so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
