You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
