Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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