My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
