you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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