chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize