Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
