I just made out with a guy for $7.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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