Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
