5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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