He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
