I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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