Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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