This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I had to cum in my sink.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
