Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
