hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
