bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
