I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
