Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You pole danced in your parka.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
