brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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