he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
