yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
