**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
